Leo's (Painful) Quest for Love
by TheQueenofBooks1000
Summary: Leo is single, which is truly one of life's greatest mysteries. But can two immortal figures change that by meddling with his life a tiny bit? A humorous (or so I think) tale of romance, involving our very own repair boy. Rate and review!
1. Aphrodite's Plan

**Hi, guys. I haven't really written for PJO in a while. So today, I'm gonna write a story. Hope you enjoy it. ****:D**

**It's about Leo, who, disturbingly, is still single, despite his hilarious charisma. Hmm...**

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING PJO-RELATED. (EXCEPT, OF COURSE, THIS FIC.)**

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Aphrodite sat on her gloriously pink throne, watching _The Half Blood Love Show._

Well, okay, all she was doing was watching the shortcomings of the demigods in her godly iPad. But hey, she's the goddess of love, and the goddess of love can sense when _amour _is in the air.

Percy and Annabeth, the famous power couple, were staring lovingly at each other. Percy whispered something to the blonde, whose eyes widened, and she began smiling and giggling, _so _unlike her usual 'mighty daughter of Athena' behavior. Without another word, the son of Poseidon grabbed her hands and swiftly pulled her with him in the lake.

They didn't submerge, so it didn't exactly take a goddess of wisdom to know WHAT was going on in there.

Meanwhile, Katie was screaming angrily at Travis, who was merely smirking. As she was about to start with a new rant, the well-known prankster grabbed a potted rose plant from his bag. Try as Katie might, she couldn't resist to smile, because he actually got her a POTTED plant. As a daughter of Demeter, she hated people picking flowers from their roots, obviously killing them. Katie grinned, pecked him in the cheek, and they raced off to the dining pavilion.

Clarisse and Chris were sparring like Spartans. Clarisse, as usual, was winning. Chris dodged her flaming spear, looking desperate, until a battle strategy crossed his mind. Smirking, he dropped his sword to the ground, making the daughter of Ares confused. When she lowered her spear, the son of Hermes attacked—except that his attack involved his lips, not his sword. Clarisse squeaked, dropping her spear in surprise, and Chris took that opportunity to grab his sword quickly and pin her to the ground. After he announced his triumph, he tossed both weapons and continued to make out with his girlfriend, right in the center of the arena.

The goddess sighed in sheer bliss as she inspected the lives of the demigods. It was like watching a soap opera, except that this has more variety, more _depth! _

Plus, she didn't feel the need to get jealous of the leading ladies' beauty, since all the girls in Camp Half-Blood didn't really care about their looks (with the exception of her precious daughters, of course, but it's hardly appropriate to get jealous of them).

Aphrodite absently tucked an auburn strand of her hair behind her ear seconds before it turned into the color of spun gold. Then a sharp tingle went through her spine. Wait. Something wasn't right.

She sensed a disturbance within the force...of _love._

And sure enough...as she shifted the screen on her godly iPad, she spotted a certain dark-haired boy in the forges. She frowned and zoomed in, so she could see him better.

It was Leo Valdez, son of Hephaestus—and, to an extent, her stepson. As usual, he was constructing something out of a plain hunk of lead, but...something was wrong. She frowned as she inspected the Latino boy's face.

He looked lonely. And that's when it hit Aphrodite.

_Duh! He was lonely._

No wonder. Aphrodite closed her eyes and did a background check on the half-blood, scanning his psyche to see all the dates he has been in, and all the crushes he had.

_Yikes._ While the 'crush' list was definitely full, the 'date' list was pretty much empty.

As far as Aphrodite could tell, Leo was hardly asked out on dates, nor did he have the courage to ask anybody out. The few he had involved mustard stains, awkward conversations, and some ancient, supposedly mythological beast going in the restaurant and ruining everything. Those weren't exactly great factors for dates.

"That's so sad!" Aphrodite cried, practically shedding a tear.

"What's wrong, Aphrodite?"

The goddess was startled. She whipped her head up to have her gaze locked with her husband Hephaestus, god of fire and metalworking.

Normally, it would be an accomplishment to say that your husband is a god. Unfortunately, though, the circumstances were hardly normal, since the said godly husband was nearly three thousand years old. Plus, he wasn't exactly good-looking.

"Oh, Hephy," Aphrodite sighed, clutching her husband's arm.

"What?" Hephaestus said irritably. He really needed to get back to his machines soon. He only came here to hang out with the muses and maybe snack on some ambrosia. Now he was stuck with his nutcase of a wife.

"It's horrible!" the goddess exclaimed, her blue-brown-gray-green eyes widening. "Our son is a socially awkward boy who can't ask a female out!"

The god's face contorted in puzzlement, distorting his features even more. "Whoa, what do you mean, _our son?"_

"Leo, of course," Aphrodite snapped. "He's your kid, and I'm your wife, so he's _our _kid."

"You sure hadn't been acting like a wife lately," the god muttered. And by 'lately,' he meant a few hundred years, give or take.

"Hey!" Aphrodite interjected. "Just listen to me! Do you really want poor Leo to die alone, in a house, with twenty cats and a cyborg? Because that's what his future is beginning to look like!"

"Oh, Styx," Hephaestus sighed, rubbing his beard. "So, what exactly do you want to do?"

"We set him up with a nice girl, of course!" she insisted. "Plus, she has to be hot. I won't let poor Leo settle for less!"

Hephaestus groaned. "Why can't he just build himself a nice girl?" he grumbled. "He can make the robotic female of his dreams, and we can just turn it into a human. Won't that be simpler?"

"That's not true love," Aphrodite snapped. She snatched a tube of lipstick from her pink purse and began applying it fervently. It was a nervous habit.

"You did that once," Hephaestus countered. "To...what was that fellow's name? Pygmalion, and his statue Galatea, right?"

The goddess tossed her hair, which was now a lovely shade of brown. "Well...statues are different from robots!" She looked at him pleadingly. "Well, okay, I could probably do that, but that won't be as fun as setting him up with a real girl. Just...come on, help me!"

"Why don't you just ask Ares? He is your boyfriend, remember?"

"We," Aphrodite sniffed, slipping her lipstick back in her purse, "are having a _lovers' quarrel."_

The god raised his eyebrows. "I don't even want to know."

"Whatever! Please, Hephaestus?"

"NO! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE WITH MY CYCLOPS AND ROBOTS!"

Aphrodite glared at him, before her multicolored eyes softened and she smiled. "Aww, we sound like an old married couple."

Hephaestus snorted. "We _are_ an old married couple. An ancient couple, in fact. And it won't hurt if you remember that before dating some random idiot you happen to meet in Hollywood!"

The goddess scowled, before she remembered that sometimes, when you manipulate people, you gotta use charm before anger. So she batted her long eyelashes and stuck her lower lip out. "Please?" she begged.

Hephaestus looked down at her and felt his heart softening. Hades, even he wasn't immune to her beauty, and it has been several centuries. "Fine," he said gruffly. "But only for my son, okay? If you force me to set some Apollo guys up with other girls, then I am going to blow a gasket."

"YAY!" the goddess shrieked, nearly deafening the god's immortal ears. Without another word, she yanked his arm and teleported them to Camp Half-Blood.

Hephaestus sighed, thinking about how painfully awkward this would be. He never even went to his son's birthdays, and now he was going to pop up suddenly to offer him _dating advice?_

This is going to be a long, long day.

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**Indeed, this is a multi-chaptered story! Wouldn't you want to know what happens next? On a brighter note, I haven't written for PJO in AGES and I'm back, baby! Did anyone miss me? *silence* Um, okay. :P But please REVIEW! :)**


	2. Of Fireworks and Sisters

**Thank you for the reviews! I really appreciate them. :)**

**So, here's the next chapter! What will happen to our favorite son of Hephaestus?**

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN PERCY JACKSON OR HEROES OF OLYMPUS.**

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Camp Half-Blood was strangely peaceful on that particular day.

Except, of course, the Ares kids harassing everybody, the Hecate children tossing some bizarre concoction they created at people's heads (it made strands of hair turn into snakes for four to six hours, depending on the amount), the Athena children having loud and heated debates with each other, the Aphrodite girls gushing about some new Apollo guy (emitting loud, pig-like squeals in the process), and the Hermes kids...well, you get the idea.

But other than that, Camp Half-Blood was peaceful.

Maybe it had something to do with the fact that later that night, they will celebrate the Fourth of July with the annual firework event, and it seemed like everyone had dates already. And those who didn't were pretty much content to go with groups of friends.

The fact that everyone was in agreement with each other (at least, for a few hours) urged some strange sort of serenity to fill the camp, making everybody feel calm and content. (Especially those who had dates.)

Of course, one particular location in the camp seemed immune to the serenity.

It was the forges, which, in normal circumstances, would be full of Hephaestus kids chatting amongst themselves and constructing a new robot or something. Now, the place seemed remotely deserted...

_CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!_

Well, except for whoever it was that was making that bloody annoying sound.

Leo Valdez sat alone in one of the tables, absently whacking a hunk of metal with a hammer. A small scowl graced his usually playful features. "Stupid...Apollo chick..." he muttered. He had managed to distract himself for a while (and, being ADHD, it wasn't really hard) by doing the finishing touches on the fireworks that they would launch in the sky tonight. It was pretty fun for a while.

If only it didn't remind him of his date. Or lack, thereof.

He had been crushing on one of the beautiful, golden-haired daughters of Apollo for quite a while now. He tried everything to please her, such as composing a haiku about her stuffed panda, or trying (in a sort of half-assed attempt) to serenade her with a lyre that he stole from Chiron's office.

Well, she basically dumped him.

And okay, strictly speaking, 'dumped' wasn't the correct term, because they weren't even together in the first place. But, man, he really had the hots for that demigoddess. Although, revealing to the entire camp that she had a stuffed panda maybe wasn't the best idea. (Apparently, it was a secret, and she called Leo a creepy stalker because he knew about it. Hey, it wasn't his fault that the Apollo cabin was easily accessible with a few tools and a makeshift cyborg. Uh...not that he tried doing that or anything.)

And tonight was the night of the fireworks. Love was in the air. And Leo felt like he was dying of suffocation.

Jason and Piper were pretty cool about letting him tag along to their date, but he could tell that they wanted to be alone. Plus, the last thing he needed was to watch them kiss each other while holding hands, which would undoubtedly remind him of his single/desperate state.

A bunch of Romans were planning to crash into the party as well. This time, though, it wasn't a literal crashing (with a warship and all), like what happened when Octavian received the news of some sort of traitor lurking in Camp Half-Blood in the 'entrails' of a stuffed zebra. (Octavian was wrong, as usual. Leo was beginning to wonder if the dude was actually a descendant of Apollo, or he was really just a sick stuffed animal murderer.)

So, unless he'd manage to attract some warfreak Roman girl, then he might as well go alone. Most of his friends had dates. Hades, even his sister Nyssa, who usually didn't put up with such nonsense such as the fireworks (except, of course, making the fireworks themselves), was going with Will Solace. At least _somebody _from his cabin had a luck with children of Apollo.

As if on cue (or Leo accidentally summoned her with his thoughts, like some freaky mind-control thing), Nyssa burst in. "Hi, Leo," she said casually. "Are the fireworks all set?"

"Yeah, they're—" Leo glanced up briefly from the metal he was pounding and recoiled at the sight of his sister. "Dang, what happened to _you, _sis?"

Nyssa was dolled up in a pink blouse and a pair of dark jeans. Her hair, which was usually tied in a knot, was curled to perfection, Aphrodite-style. But what really shocked him the most was her face, which was fully made up, lipstick and mascara and all.

His sister glared at him. "What? I just prepared myself for the fireworks." She patted her curls. "I think I look pretty good."

Leo just stared at his usually down-to-earth sister. "Uh, yeah, sis. You look awesome! But...since when do you—I mean, why would you even—uhh, no, I mean—"

Nyssa laughed, a sound that stumped Leo. Nyssa hardly ever laughed, and now she was laughing like he just told her the funniest joke in existence.

"Silly, Leo," she scoffed playfully. "Haven't you ever been in love?"

The son of Hephaestus was almost ninety percent sure that his sister lost her mind. "Uh, like every two weeks or so, but—"

Nyssa smiled dreamily, a smile that kind of resembled some Disney princess gazing out her window, waiting for Prince Charming to come over. "It's a great sensation," Nyssa confessed. "Maybe I could create a machine that would illustrate how _awesome _it is, but I don't want to get my new blouse dirty with oil. Maybe later."

"Maybe later," Leo parroted, staring at his sister's happy face.

Nyssa shook her head. "Ah, Leo, I hope you do get to experience love someday," she said, her brown eyes shining. "But I guess you'll have to make do with those robots right now! They need the company, too. Anyway, fireworks?"

Leo was glad for a distraction. He swallowed, reached into one of the crates, and showed her the fireworks. "Uh, when programmed, this one forms a bear—"

"Hi, Nyssa!" a voice called. "Ready to go for our date!"

Nyssa grinned so widely that Leo was scared for her lips, which were in danger of coming off her face. "Just a minute, Will," she called back. She turned to her brother. "Leo, you're in charge of all of this, okay?" Nyssa stood and ran to the door eagerly. "See you at the fireworks," she called behind her shoulder.

"Yeah, see you," Leo said unenthusiastically. He stared at the stupid fireworks, trying to absorb what in Hades just happened.

Great. That weird encounter with his sister just made him more curious to see what dating was like. If it made his sister, who usually cared about nothing else other than if a machine was oiled properly, act like Aphrodite on a sugar rush, than it really _must _be something.

"Did you summon me, dear?" A sweet voice accompanied by a tinkling laugh interrupted his thoughts.

"What the—" Leo whirled around.

No one was there.

"That's...kind of creepy," Leo mumbled. He sighed and returned his gaze to the piece of metal he was working on.

"Leo! We're here to help you!" A bright flash of pink nearly blinded the Latino, and some gross, overpowering smell (it smelled like lavender, yeuch) almost made his nostrils explode.

"Oh, sorry, don't you like my perfume?" The strong scent immediately switched to a mild one that smelled of roses.

"Uh, that's better," Leo choked out. He stared at the cloud of pink dust, trying to calm himself. He was feeling kind of scared, so he reached for one of the fireworks. "Um...show yourself?" he squeaked out.

"Hi, son," a gruff voice stated. Leo blinked in shock.

"Dad? Is that you?"

And the two gods materialized in front of him, making him stumble backwards into a crate of robot parts. "OW!" Leo yelled as the a bit of metal nearly impaled itself on him.

Aphrodite winced. "This isn't off to a great start."

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**This is just a filler chapter. Don't fret, the real drama will happen in the next one! I'm sorry if this is kind of rushed and confusing. Please review and tell me what you all think! :)**


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